A Parent's Love and the Perception of 'Kids'

It’s not uncommon for children to feel that their parents, no matter their age, are still referring to them as 'kids' or 'children.' This can be especially poignant when they feel they are, indeed, adults. But what lies behind a parent's continued use of such terms? And how can adults communicate their feelings of maturity to their parents?

Parental Perspective and the Challenges of Adulthood

Parental love is a deep, ever-lasting bond. Despite our children growing into adults, many parents continue to view them as 'kids' out of a genuine desire to nurture and care for them. As one parent described, 'Even in my 40s, I was still my dad’s young son, and he would bend the universe for me if he could.' This emotional attachment can make it difficult for adults to feel acknowledged as mature individuals.

The Legal and Emotional Adolescent

Legally, a 16-year-old is very close to being an adult, but emotionally, they may still be considered a 'kid' by their parents. This is because the transition into adulthood is not always marked by a sudden feeling of maturity. It’s a process that can take years. Parents often see their children as 'kids' for a long time, even after significant age milestones are reached. As another parent joked, 'I was dumb AF at 30, I will most likely feel the same way at 40 when I turn 50.' This perspective highlights the ongoing learning and growth that adults experience throughout their lives.

Communicating to Your Parents

If you find that the term 'kid' bothers you, it’s important to communicate openly with your parents about your feelings. Let them know how these words make you feel. An example of how to do this might be: 'I don’t feel like a little girl anymore. When you call me that, I think you see me as 5. I am a young woman and want to feel like you see me that way. I love you.'

It’s crucial to express your feelings without sounding accusatory. Try to keep the conversation positive and focused on mutual understanding and support. Remember, the term 'kid' is often used out of love and a desire to continue that nurturing relationship.

The Permanent Bond

One of the most beautiful aspects of a parent-child relationship is that it is permanent. No matter how old your child grows, they will always be your 'baby' in your heart. Enjoy those moments where your parents see you as a 'kid,' as it’s a reminder of their ongoing affection and the cherished memories you have together. Conversely, as a parent, cherish seeing your adult children as 'kids' because it’s a sign of your enduring love and the deep bond you share.

Even as adults, you are still your parent’s child. It doesn’t matter whether you’re 16 or 60; you will always be a 'kid' in their eyes, and that’s okay. If it bothers you, communicate your feelings to your parents, but also appreciate their continued love and care.

Conclusion: Parental love is a complex and enduring feeling. The term 'kids' is often used out of a genuine desire to nurture and protect. As an adult, you may feel differently, but that doesn’t diminish the love and bond that exists. Communicate your feelings, but also cherish the special relationship you have with your parents.