Antisocial Love: Do People with Antisocial Personality Disorder Really Have Relationships?

It’s a common belief that love requires mutual benefit and emotional connection. However, when it comes to individuals with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), the dynamics of their romantic relationships are often questionable. In this article, we will explore the true nature of these relationships and the underlying psychological factors that govern them.

The Nature of Relationships with ASPD Individuals

The statement We don’t fall - we choose, is a critical insight into how individuals with ASPD might view relationships. The idea here is that relationships are not something that one accepts by accident but rather a deliberate choice made to benefit both parties equally. If this isn’t the case, either one person is being used or there’s no genuine interest in a long-term relationship.

Some pop culture might suggest a more dramatic interpretation; for instance, the idea that one might have a wicked fun time, exploit the other person, and then leave. However, this portrayal may be overly simplistic and could be a skewed view of the complexity involved in relationships.

Are All Human Interactions Fundamentally Selfish?

It is also important to recognize that all human interactions involve some level of self-interest. Exploitation of one another for personal gain is not inherently a problem as long as both parties’ interests are aligned. In the context of ASPD, however, there is often a significant misalignment of interests that can lead to a toxic and unsatisfying relationship.

Historically, humans have lived in antisocial and competitive environments for thousands of years, leading to the evolution of a spectrum of antisocial behaviors. It would be surprising if two individuals with highly antisocial tendencies did not find themselves in a mutually detrimental relationship over time. The result can often be a shared misery and a lack of genuine emotional fulfillment for both.

The Role of Subconscious Fear and Narcissism

The primary driver of an antisocial personality is often a subconscious fear of self and others. This fear can be rooted in past traumas or a lack of self-worth. Individuals with ASPD might not be fully aware of their actions or the reason behind them, making it difficult to form genuine connections.

Narcissism, often misunderstood in its association with ASPD, is not always present. High levels of narcissism can increase self-awareness, whereas lower levels of narcissism, leading to a lack of acknowledgment of antisocial behavior, are more common.

Those who are lower in narcissism might not even recognize their own actions, leading to a cycle of behavior that is difficult to break. This misunderstanding of one’s actions can make it challenging to form a lasting, fulfilling relationship with such individuals.

Establishing an Alliance over Pure Love

For individuals with ASPD, love as we commonly understand it may not be a motivating factor. Instead, they might be more inclined to establish an alliance or partnership based on shared interests and mutual benefit. Such arrangements can persist as long as both parties see value in continuing the relationship. Once the benefits diminish or shift, the relationship might falter.

While there are cases where two ASPD individuals might coexist in a seemingly symbiotic relationship, the long-term prognosis is often not positive. The lack of emotional stability and genuine connection can result in mutual dissatisfaction, fear, and a shared history of toxic behavior.

In conclusion, while it is possible for individuals with ASPD to form relationships, these are often driven by a desire for mutual benefit rather than love. Understanding the underlying psychological factors can help provide insight into these complex and sometimes challenging dynamics.