Introduction

Mental health is an integral part of our overall well-being, yet many people struggle with conditions like depression and anxiety. As caregivers, friends, or acquaintances, our words can either help lift someone up or cause further harm. This article explores the wrong things to say to someone with these conditions and offers alternative words that can provide genuine support and validation.

The Wrong Words to Use

Expressions like ldquo;just get over itrdquo; may be well-intentioned, but they can be distressing for someone experiencing depression or anxiety. Here are some phrases to avoid:

ldquo;Just get over itrdquo; ldquo;You’re just sadrdquo; ldquo;Life’s just been hard for yourdquo; ldquo;You’re just not handling it wellrdquo; ldquo;depression is self-centeredrdquo; ldquo;Stop being anxious/depressedrdquo; ldquo;Just focus on good thingsrdquo; ldquo;I’m sorry to hear thatrdquo; (sounding disingenuous) ldquo;You need helprdquo; ldquo;You should think about the good in thisrdquo; (sounding dismissive)

Real-life Experiences

The impact of these words can be profound. For example, medical professionals, who are supposed to provide support, can inadvertently cause distress. A nurse told me, ldquo;Hospitals are for sick people; you’re wasting a bed.rdquo; Though her intention was to lessen my burden, these words only made me feel worse. Another instance involved a nurse who said, ldquo;You’re on your own.rdquo; In the midst of my depression, this comment hit me like a thunderbolt and made me feel utterly alone.

Supportive Alternatives

Instead of these unhelpful comments, consider these supportive alternatives:

ldquo;I’m here for yourdquo; ldquo;Can I help with anything?rdquo; ldquo;How can I support you right now?rdquo; ldquo;Thank you for opening up to merdquo; ldquo;It sounds really hard. I believe in yourdquo; ldquo;I’m sorry you’re going through thisrdquo; (sincerely) ldquo;You’re doing your best, and that’s enoughrdquo; ldquo;Let’s find a professional who can help yourdquo; ldquo;You are not alone; I’m hererdquo;

Why Validation Matters

Validation is crucial in supporting someone with depression or anxiety. When someone feels invalidated, it can make their condition worse. For example, saying, ldquo;It’s all in your head just get over it, rdquo; dismisses their reality and makes them feel as though their pain is imaginary. This can lead to a sense of shame and further isolation. Validating their feelings helps them feel heard and understood.

It’s also important to avoid comparisons. Statements like ldquo;Your life is good compared to others that are way worse offrdquo; can be backfiring. Such comparisons can make someone feel worse by minimizing their struggles. Instead, focus on how you can support them in the present moment.

Conclusion

Supporting someone with depression or anxiety requires empathy, patience, and a sensitivity to their emotional needs. Avoid using dismissive language and focus on offering genuine support. When you do so, you create a compassionate environment that can help them heal and thrive.