Can We Be Empathetic and Autistic?

Why It’s Important to Seek a New Therapist

Not all therapists are equipped to handle neurodivergent individuals, and you may find yourself in situations where your diagnosis is invalidated. In my experience, seeking a therapist who specializes in ADHD and autism is crucial. A good therapist should validate your experiences while also providing guidance and tools to help you grow. It is essential to find someone who can stretch you without pushing you out of your comfort zone.

Understanding Autism and Empathy

Saying that autistic people don’t experience empathy is a misconception. In fact, many of us are too empathetic. We feel emotions strongly and sometimes struggle to express them, especially if we also have alexithymia, a condition where we have difficulty identifying and describing our emotions. However, having alexithymia does not mean we lack empathy; it simply means we may have trouble conveying what we’re feeling.

The Different Types of Empathy

Empathy is a complex concept that can be broken down into four types:

Cognitive Empathy: Understanding another person's point of view and behavior. Responsive Empathy (combined with two subcategories): Works: Performing good deeds to help someone. Consoling: Providing comfort and support, both verbally and physically. Affective Empathy: Feeling what others are feeling and potentially feeling overwhelmed by this. Somatic Empathy: Experiencing similar physical responses to others' emotions or physical experiences.

Neurotypical individuals tend to experience cognitive and responsive empathy more often, while those who are neurodivergent may struggle with social components related to these types. However, autistic individuals often experience affective and somatic empathy more frequently. This can contribute to what is known as the Double Empathy Problem.

The Double Empathy Problem Explained

The Double Empathy Problem occurs when individuals with very different experiences of the world struggle to empathize with each other. This is further complicated by differences in language use and comprehension. It’s important to remember that empathy is not a one-way communication but a form of interaction where both parties engage.

Autism and Empathy: A Nuanced Relationship

Many people misunderstand the relationship between autism and empathy. Just because someone is autistic and has alexithymia does not mean they lack empathy. Alexithymia mainly affects our ability to identify and describe our emotions, not our capacity to feel them. We may express empathy differently, but we certainly do feel it and experience emotions deeply.

In conclusion, yes, you can be empathetic and autistic. Autism may even predispose us to experience empathy in unique and profound ways. The key is to understand that empathy is a multi-faceted concept that goes beyond simply feeling others’ emotions. We can and do empathize strongly, even if we may not show it in the same way as neurotypicals.

Hope this helps!