Can an Individual with ASPD or NPD Truly Change Their Behavior?

The hallmark of individuals diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is their willful ignorance or aversion to personal accountability. It is a rare occurrence for such individuals to actively seek to undo their mental corruption.

Unlikely for Change

It is uncommon for individuals displaying these traits to exhibit significant changes in behavior. The primary reason behind this is the difficulty for a narcissist to admit their wrongdoing. Instead of accepting blame, they are likely to blame others, making genuine change a challenging feat.

Examples of Non-Changing Behavior

I have observed numerous individuals with NPD behaviors in both personal and professional settings. None of them have ever sought diagnosis or treatment. The emotional fragility associated with such disorders often prevents them from acknowledging any fault. It is ironic that some of these individuals may have comorbid conditions like anxiety or depression, which would typically require treatment. However, due to their mask-like behavior, therapists often fail to recognize the underlying personality disorder.

A Case Study of Emotional Fragility

One instance that stands out involves my covert mother. She was aware of the therapy sessions she attended with her therapist, an insight gained when both my brother and I attended one. During the session, she singled me out and fiercely complained about leaving food remains on a cutting board a few weeks earlier. However, this was far from the truth. I was the designated dishwasher and housekeeper, frequently maintaining a clean kitchen. She also claimed I did nothing around the house for her. This was a serious exaggeration, as I did various household tasks, took her to doctor appointments, and spent around 15 hours a week on personal and work-related activities.

The therapist seemed unaware of the evident dynamic and harshly criticized me, as if I were a rebellious teenager. I was 61 at the time, and walking out of the session before its conclusion, I walked the five miles home in frustration.

Previous Incidents and Outlook

Years earlier, I had contacted a therapist after an especially severe incident involving emotional and physical abuse from my ex-partner. The therapist informed me that my ex-partner had spent two years in therapy but made no progress in addressing their behavior. They presented themselves as a victim of everyone else in their life.

When asked what I should do, the therapist suggested that I leave him. Despite not leaving at that time, I eventually terminated the relationship six years later after a total of six years together. A few years later, my ex-partner married a religious woman, who has endured his volatile behavior for nearly forty years. He was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder but has never addressed the evident symptoms of NPD. We have a daughter together who is now in her early forties, and I occasionally hear about his current state. He is now in his early 80s and shows little to no meaningful change.

My own mother, now in her 90s, still operates with the same NPD lifestyle, showing no signs of change.