Dealing with Bullies: Staying or Running—A Mental Health Perspective

Dealing with bullies can be a daunting and often painful experience. The decision to stay or run can be particularly difficult for many, and the consequences of each choice are significant. This article explores the psychological impacts of both staying hidden at home and running away from home, with a focus on the mental health implications of each decision.

The Consequences of Staying

Staying hidden at home can offer a temporary sense of safety and control, but it can also have serious psychological and emotional repercussions. When a child or teenager runs away, their parents are often left feeling helpless and devastated. There is a significant risk of injury, harm, and even death. A popular online advice post suggests the terrifying scenario of being “gang raped and dumped half dead in a ditch somewhere”. The emotional trauma for both the runaway and their parents can be immeasurable.

Expressing Concerns

It is crucial to grow up and address the issue by discussing it openly with parents. Seeking their permission for a sleepover can provide a safe and supportive environment. This approach acknowledges the importance of parental guidance and support in navigating challenging situations. It also emphasizes the vulnerability and need for protection that both the child and the parent share.

The Appeal of Running Away

On the other hand, running away may seem like a bold and courageous act, often associated with a sense of rebellion and independence. However, this perception is misguided and can have serious consequences. Running away from home can lead to extreme scenarios, such as playing the “Imperial March” or another dramatic music while leaving, and wearing a mask to obscure identity. While these actions may appear cool and epic, they do not address the root issue of bullying and can further isolate the individual from support systems.

Planning and Protection

Before making the decision to run away, it is essential to have a plan. This includes identifying safe places to go, such as grandparents, friends, or shelters. However, running to places like a forest, a dirty alley in the city, a rocky cave, or under a freeway bridge can be extremely dangerous and fraught with risks.

Understanding the Psychology of Bullies

The nature of bullying and the psychology behind it can provide insight into why running or staying may not be the best solutions. Roy Masters, a renowned personality and therapist, emphasizes the importance of understanding the dynamics of bullying. He states, “Bullies are cowards who fear those they cannot drive mad. Both anger and fear [is what] empowers them to hurt you. [And repressing your anger to be an appeaser empowers them.]”

Mental Health and Anger Management

Coping with frustration and anger can be challenging, but it is essential for mental health. According to Roy Masters, repressed anger can lead to self-destruction, while expressing anger in a healthy manner can provide relief and empower the individual. “When you feel that frustration [which is evidence that] you have [your spirit has] been penetrated by the intimidator [the bully]. If you have a secret fear they sense it.”

Overcoming Bullying with Calm and Virtue

Simultaneously, Roy Masters encourages individuals to see things for what they truly are and respond with calmness and virtue. He notes, “There are two spirits that wait upon a man when he comes into the world [truth and deceit}.” By maintaining a stance of calm and virtue with a non-reactive demeanor, the bully’s power is diminished. “But if you just watch them with calm virtue and don’t flinch and don’t react if you just watch them then your anger and judgment go away. Then you can feel the joy and freedom and can use the moment for a noble act to take a step to speak to that person —- ‘that wasn’t right.’”

Fighting Hypocrisy and Self-Righteousness

“Criticize the hypocritical hypocracy the vain vanity the self-righteous arrogance the slugs the zombies and the unconscious actors who were hypnotically programmed and conditioned by others.” Roy Masters further emphasizes the importance of recognizing and dealing with false personas and unhealthy reactions, which can contribute to the perpetuation of bullying behaviors.

Ultimately, dealing with bullies requires a multifaceted approach that includes understanding the psychological dynamics, prioritizing mental health, and fostering self-empowerment. Whether staying or running, the key is to address the issue in a way that promotes personal growth and resilience.