Did Roman Ladies Have Sex with Male Slaves?

History rarely records the intimate details of ordinary people's lives. However, as a marriage counselor and sex therapist, I can draw upon historical accounts and cultural contexts to explore this topic. The sexual practices and social norms of the Roman Empire, particularly among the upper classes, were complex and sometimes scandalous.

The Complexity of Roman Sexual Practices

Human beings' libidos are highly individual. There are instances where individuals are so driven by desire that they will engage in sexual activities with almost anyone when alone. An enslaved person may possess a charismatic personality that can captivate someone. When we are attracted to someone, all differences tend to fade away. It is possible that even someone initially perceived as unattractive can become desirable upon getting to know them better.

Scandals and Social Norms Among the Elite

In Invisible Romans by Robert Knapp, there is a story of a wealthy Roman woman who owed a male slave with a hunchback. One day, she took pleasure in forcing the slave to strip and exposing his body to her and her friends for amusement. Later, she found herself aroused and took the slave to a private location for intimate relations.

While the upper echelons of Roman society were keenly aware of the moral implications of such acts, legal and social prohibitions were not always strictly enforced. The upper classes set the moral standards, while the lower classes and slaves were often more relaxed regarding propriety. Despite this, if a woman was caught having sex with a slave, the punishment could be severe, often leading to her execution. However, the highest echelons of Roman society were above the law, and this contributed to the decline of the Roman Republic.

Motivation and Social Status

Marriages in ancient Rome were primarily arranged to maintain social and economic standing, not based on love. Girls were often married to much older men, and younger women sought affection and attention from other sources. Love and passion were not prohibited, but they were often kept private. Distractions from a monogamous relationship, such as affairs, were common among both men and women. The famous Roman poet Ovid provided extensive advice on how to woo and seduce Roman ladies with minimum risk of exposure.

Male slaves, being considered property, were particularly vulnerable to such encounters. They could take advantage of their situation without fear of severe consequences. Even if a slave expressed remorse, the consequences were often minimal compared to those faced by free women. The appeal of a beautiful, young matron (typically in her early 20s to 30s) was a strong incentive for a male slave to risk the punishments involved in such unions.

Conclusion

The sexual practices of the Romans, particularly among the elite, reveal a society where sexual desires often disregarded social norms and legal restrictions. While the upper classes upheld strict moral standards, the lower classes and slaves had more lenient attitudes towards such activities. Whether slave and mistress engaged in clandestine affairs reveals much about the complex dynamics of ancient Roman social and sexual life.