Exploring Touch and Dissociative Identity Disorder: Can You Feel Your Alter?

If you have dissociative identity disorder (DID), one of the most intriguing questions can be whether you can physically sense your alter. In this article, we will explore the personal stories of those who have faced this challenge and share valuable insights.

The Personal Experience

As I mentioned before, I have been aware of an alter for many years. Initially, I heard her voice, which was predominantly crying. She did not speak, only shedding silent tears. It was a profoundly troubling experience until I was diagnosed with DID by my therapist.

During a therapy session, my therapist suggested a unique approach: inviting the alter to express her emotions through my own body. I was intrigued and decided to try it. To my surprise, I found myself weeping and shaking, a reaction that clearly wasn't my own. My therapist then guided me to comfort the alter with a hug, which seemed strange at first. However, when I hugged my body, I noticed a difference. My body felt distinct and separate from the person weeping. After a while, the alter's crying subsided, and we learned that her name was Shanna. She shared that she had been with me since I was a toddler and had always been a protector.

Understanding the Mechanism

This experience opened up a new understanding for me. When an alter is present, the body can sometimes act independently, even when it is not the primary identity. My therapist's guidance effectively bridged the emotional divide between the alter and myself. By comforting the alter through my body, I was able to sense and feel her presence, even if it was not my own.

This interaction was a pivotal moment in my journey with DID. Whenever Shanna fronts, I can now sense a change in my body that I can attribute to her.

Personal Experiences of Touch and Alter Interaction

Lisa: I've also been through the process of integrating and have had my share of experiences with alters. Much of the touching I've shared was with the 'children' alters. My therapist would guide me to interact with these alters in imaginary situations, such as holding and comforting them. It allowed me to connect with them on a deeper emotional level.

However, there were instances when alters took a more active role. One particularly distressing occurrence involved a furious alter. She drew blood from my arms to create blood paintings. Yes, it was my arm, but the experience was traumatic. The severity of the blood loss and the manner in which it was done taught us a lesson – we could not engage in self-harm, especially not within our field of work.

These experiences are unique, and while the situation now is different, they provide valuable insights into the complex nature of DID and the interactions within a system of alters.

Conclusion

Engaging with alters can be a challenging and deeply emotional process, but it is possible to develop a sense of touch and connection. Whether it is through guided therapy, shared experiences, or direct physical contact, understanding and integrating these experiences can lead to greater self-awareness and healing.