Forgiveness and Moving On: How to Heal Deep Wounds from the Past

When someone who has caused you significant harm reaches out to make amends, it is normal to feel a range of emotions, including anger, frustration, and even isolation. This is especially true if the events occurred a long time ago, but the pain still lingers. For instance, someone may declare, “I will never forgive them” despite the fact that a wrongdoing happened 20 years ago. Let’s explore the steps to truly move on and the importance of forgiveness in healing.

The Truth about 'Moving On'

When you say, “I moved on 20 years ago,” it is often more complex than you might think. The emotions and memories associated with the event may still resurface during times of stress or solitude. In a quiet and confidential setting, with the help of a therapist, you might admit that you are still deeply affected by the event.

The term “moving on” is often misleading. It is a phrase that conveys the idea of psychological closure, but it doesn’t happen through a simple declaration. Instead, it involves a process of deep and sincere communication and emotional release.

Listening and Healing: A Two-Way Exchange

The only true way to move on is to hear out the person who has caused you harm. Allow them to confess and share their guilt and shame. At the same time, express your feelings and the extent to which you were hurt. This is not a one-sided process; it is a two-way exchange where both parties get the chance to share their pain and heal.

Listen to their detailed confessions, and let them talk until they are finished. Only then, you can respond with your feelings. Writing down your emotions can help you convey them in a clear and unemotional manner, which is crucial for achieving true healing.

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a powerful tool for emotional freedom. While it might be tempting to hold onto anger and resentment, forgiveness can bring about a profound sense of peace. It is not about condoning the behavior, but about releasing the negative emotions that keep you tied to the past.

By expressing your hurt and allowing the other person to bear their soul, you can achieve a level of release that allows you to truly move on. Your words of forgiveness can be a catalyst for both parties to heal and find closure.

If you are at a point where you feel ready to let go, take the steps to forgive. It is a personal choice that requires sincerity, humility, and a genuine desire to heal. In doing so, you give yourself the gift of peace and closure, and you also make it possible for others to heal and move on.

Remember, healing from deep wounds is not a quick fix. It is a journey that requires patience, vulnerability, and the willingness to face your emotions. However, with time and effort, you can find the freedom that comes with true forgiveness.

So, ask yourself, are you truly ready to let go of the pain? If the answer is yes, take the steps to heal and move on. And if it is not, continue to explore the reasons why. The journey may be challenging, but it is worth it for a life filled with peace and joy.