Forgiving a Father Who Walked Out: A Journey of Healing

Have you ever wondered how to forgive a father who’s walked out on your life? Many people find themselves in situations where a parent has left them, much like experiencing the pain of a broken relationship. This emotional journey requires reflection, understanding, and a conscious decision to move forward.

Understanding the Circumstances

Blindly taking sides without knowing the whole story is not advised. Everyone’s situation is unique. For instance, my parents divorced after nearly thirty years of marriage, and it was long after my childhood. I tried to maintain a relationship with my father and his new stepmonster, who was the reason for the divorce due to a long-term affair. However, it soon became clear that my father preferred his stepfamily over his children.

A Path to Forgiveness

The choice to forgive involves a deliberate and purposeful act. It is more than just saying a few words and moving on. Forgiveness involves recognizing the full range of possibilities and consequences, then making a decision to let go. It means choosing not to seek vengeance, which absolves the person who offended you from being held accountable. This requires accepting that holding anger and bitterness will not ultimately benefit you.

Religious and Biblical Perspective

The Bible also teaches us about forgiveness. The Apostle Paul writes in Romans 12:19, ldquo;Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, lsquo;Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,rsquo; says the Lord.rdquo; This scripture encourages us to trust in God to take care of justice, freeing us from the burden of taking justice into our own hands.

The Emotional Impact of Parental Rejection

Forgiving someone who has caused significant pain, like a father who walked out on a family, can be incredibly challenging. For me, my father’s abandonment when I was just 9 years old left an indelible mark. It is crucial to recognize that time alone does not heal all emotional wounds. Choosing to forgive does not mean forgetting, but it is a step towards emotional liberation. Holding grudges can consume you and lead to a toxic state of being.

The Power of Forgiveness in Life

“There are people in your life whove come and gone, they let you down, they know they hurt your pride, You better put it all behind you, baby, cause life goes on. You keep carrying that anger, it'll eat you up inside, baby.” - ‘The Heart of the Matter’ by The Eagles

These lyrics resonate deeply, urging us to let go of resentments and move forward. Living with anger and resentment against a parent who has walked out can poison your life. It’s not about loving that person again; it’s about freeing yourself from the emotional turmoil that holds you back. Forgiving does not mean you should reconcile or forget what happened, but it does mean you choose to not let the hurt define your life anymore.

Conclusion

Forgiveness is a personal journey, and it takes courage to let go of the pain. Whether you’re dealing with a father who walked out or any other form of trauma, remember that forgiving doesn't mean losing your identity or forgetting. It means reclaiming your power and moving towards emotional healing. Trust that the process is valid and healing, and know that every step forward, no matter how small, is a step towards a healthier, happier life.