Healing from Scapegoat Abuse: A Personal Journey

Do you recognize yourself in the story of the family scapegoat? It can take decades to understand your role and to begin the process of healing. This painful journey of coming to terms with abuse can be both overwhelming and emotionally taxing. However, it is crucial to remember that healing takes time, and every individual's path is unique and valid.

Understanding the Role of the Scapegoat

Each one of us who has been a scapegoat in a family has been used and abused differently. This means that the healing journey is not the same for everyone. For some, it may take years, even decades, to fully awaken to the abuse suffered and begin the process of healing. For example, the author of this article took until the age of 49 to realize that she was not the problem. Instead, she had internalized messages that undermined her self-esteem and self-worth over time.

The Long Road to Healing

After years of suffering, the author lost her son and felt that she would carry the pain until she died. However, she acknowledges that God played a significant role in her journey toward healing. She shares that it took her five years to become completely healed from the abuse she endured. While this may seem like a long time, it is remarkable that she has transformed her life and now believes that everything is possible.

Breaking the Cycle of Neglect and Abuse

The author’s story is a powerful example of breaking free from a cycle of abuse. At the age of 8, her grandmother, who would have been her one champion, passed away. This left her exposed to ongoing abuse from her father, who turned a blind eye to her mother's actions. Her maternal grandmother's death at such a young age marked the beginning of a lifetime of suffering, which took her until the age of 49 to realize the truth about herself.

The Importance of Therapy and Self-Reflection

To heal, it is important to start with therapy to understand your timeline of healing. Therapy can help provide clarity and guide you through the process of self-discovery. It is crucial to realize that the work of healing is a continuous process and that self-acceptance and self-love are key. As the author suggests, it is important to stop depending solely on yourself and to seek support in other areas. By acknowledging your triggers and processing your emotions, you can begin to heal.

Understanding the Impact of Decades of Abuse

Unfortunately, abuse that goes on for decades can leave deep scars on both the mind and body. However, healing is possible. According to the author, healing from abuse can take a significant amount of time, possibly a decade or more. However, the author emphasizes that this is not the individual’s fault. It is important to understand that everyone’s path to healing is unique and that there is no set timeline.

Continuing the Journey of Healing

The author offers encouragement and support for others who are still on their healing journey. She suggests seeking professional help from a psychologist to understand and address childhood trauma. It is also important to connect with your childhood wounds and understand your triggers. Acknowledging and accepting your imperfections is crucial for moving forward. The author reminds us that nobody is perfect and that we were often conditioned to strive for perfection when we were growing up.

A Final Word of Encouragement

As you continue your healing journey, remember that peace and self-acceptance are possible, even if it takes time. The path to healing is difficult, but it is essential for your mental and emotional well-being. Many of us were conditioned to believe that we were not good enough, but with the right support and self-love, we can overcome these beliefs and thrive.