How to Validate Someone's Feelings: A Guide for Effective Communication

Validation of emotions is a crucial aspect of building strong, empathetic relationships. When someone feels validated, they not only feel heard but also understood and supported. This guide provides insights and practical tips on how to effectively acknowledge and validate someone's feelings, enhancing mutual understanding and emotional well-being.

Understanding Emotional Validity

Emotions are as real as the physical sensations we experience. Acknowledging and validating these feelings, regardless of their intensity, is an essential step in fostering a supportive environment. Just like a guidance system within us, our feelings point to the situation and our internal state. Although feelings are not facts, they are genuine and valid. It is perfectly okay to have them.

Important Poses for Emotional Acceptance

In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a useful pose is introduced to facilitate “radical acceptance”. Here’s how you can practice this pose:

Sit down with your hands facing palms up. Relax your face by scrunching and releasing your eyebrows and mouth. Slightly raise your eyebrows and make a slight lift of the corners of your lips, creating a half-smile. Hold the pose and focus on your feelings. Notice where in your body you feel it, such as in your stomach, chest, or head. Recognize what the feeling feels like in your body, like heaviness, swirling, or fuzziness. Name the feeling and hold onto the radical acceptance pose. Remember that feelings are ok and they come and go just as they are, without being right or wrong.

Strategies for Effective Validation

While it is important to validate someone's feelings yourself, providing validation is equally crucial. Here are some key strategies to practice:

Clear Communication and Understanding

Clear communication and understanding are paramount. If your partner is going through a difficult time, ask questions to understand their perspective. Be prepared to hear that you may be the cause of their feelings being hurt. Try to understand the why behind their emotions and focus on validating their emotions to work towards solving the issues.

Sharing Feelings and Maintaining Companionship

Sharing your own feelings and encouraging your partner to share theirs can help align your perspectives. Both of you will feel validated, showing that you are supporting each other in the relationship. This mutual sharing and understanding fosters a deeper connection and emotional support.

How to Validate Someone's Feelings

Validate someone's feelings without questioning their validity. It's important to start from the premise that their feelings are valid. If you can see a way their feelings might not be valid, you probably can't. Here are some ways to show validation:

Compassion: Offer genuine empathy and compassion, especially if they are in a difficult situation. Provide real aid or offer to help in practical ways. Sympathy: Show empathy by using your own feelings to relate to their situation. Speak responsively from a place of shared understanding, not just offering sympathy. Solidarity: Highlight common experiences or shared values to demonstrate understanding. Don’t announce these agreements but show them in your words and actions. Approval and Affirmation: Acknowledge and support their feelings as laudable or appropriate. Recognize their character, resiliency, and determination.

Remember, validation is not a one-time action but a continuous and sincere effort. Use these expressions only when appropriate and natural. Keep your own emotions and attitude evident in your interactions, and let your words resonate with genuine care and understanding.

Conclusion

Validation of feelings is a powerful tool in building emotionally healthy relationships. By acknowledging and supporting each other's emotions, you create a supportive and empathetic environment. Applying these strategies can significantly enhance your emotional connection and mutual understanding.