Is Studying Dating Like Engineering or Physics the Solution for an Older Man Seeking a Partner?

Does it really matter if you're an older man, say 40, and you have an academic background in mathematics, engineering, or the physical sciences, if you keep failing at dating women? Should you approach dating like you would tackle a complex math or physics problem, analyzing data, and applying theorems? Or could this method backfire and lead to even further disappointment?

The Nature of Dating: A Practical Learning Experience?

Some view dating as a practical learning experience more than a theoretical one. Sure, there are concepts like understanding the theory behind matchmaking, but the real essence of dating involves putting yourself out there, understanding social dynamics, and being open to new experiences. This is something that comes more naturally to some and requires more effort for others.

For example, my girlfriend and I met at university, though our academic fields were quite different. She studied social and public policy, while I was pursuing computing. On paper, our backgrounds seemed mismatched. However, we shared a mutual sense of humor and love for absurdity. Our chance meeting was a perfect juxtaposition of serendipity and compatible interests, but we were both strictly looking for more of a friendship than a romantic relationship. Yet, the chemistry and mutual understanding of each other's daily lives allowed us to click in a way that surpassed academic backgrounds and probabilities.

A Practical Approach to Dating

If you consistently find yourself struggling to connect with women or dating in general, here are some practical steps you might consider:

Being Around People: To increase your chances of meeting someone, you need to actively engage with groups of people. Think about the types of social groups that align with your interests and values. Join clubs, attend social events, or participate in activities where you can meet like-minded individuals. This increases the likelihood of finding someone compatible and whose company you genuinely enjoy.

Building Genuine Connections: Focus on making friends with women, not just acquaintances. The dynamics of friendships with women can offer valuable insights into their personalities and daily lives. Whether it's going to a coffee shop, attending a local meetup, or participating in group activities, these interactions can provide a foundation for deeper conversations and mutual interests. Over time, you might find that a genuine friendship can evolve into something more.

Evaluating Social Attitudes: Being around women who are open, honest, and self-adequate provides a clear view of the social landscape. Some men approach women with an air of entitlement or a one-night stand mentality, which can be off-putting. On the other hand, there are men who believe women should be grateful for their presence, which is not respectful or healthy. Observing how people behave in various social scenarios can help you understand what kind of attitude you want to exude and what environment you prefer to be in.

The Importance of Self-Improvement and Embracing Change

Ultimately, your success in dating is closely tied to your self-image and personal growth.

Work on Your Self: Take time to work on yourself, cultivate your hobbies, and focus on your interests. Improving your character, becoming more confident, and working on your communication skills can positively impact your dating life. Here’s a quote that encapsulates this sentiment: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” Build a solid foundation of self-love and self-respect before you seek a partner.

Attitude and Confidence: Embrace a more relaxed and fun approach to social interactions. Be yourself, be confident, and don’t let minor weirdness or rejections deter you from continuing to put yourself out there. Drawing inspiration from the words of Ru Paul, “If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” remember that genuine confidence comes from a deep sense of self-worth.

Apex Strategies for Older Men

For older men who are struggling to find romantic partners, here are a few additional strategies:

Ask for Help: If you're socially inept, consider asking a married friend to help make introductions. Someone with a more experienced romantic life can provide valuable insights and support. If you're overwhelmed or unsure about the dating process, a friend or partner can help navigate the complexities of modern dating.

Keep Trying: It's crucial to be persistent and open to different approaches. Every attempt might not result in a successful relationship, but each experience can provide valuable lessons and insights that will help you refine your strategy.

Conclusion

Dating is a journey, not a destination. It requires patience, self-awareness, and an open mind. Whether you approach it with the mindset of an engineer or a social scientist, the key is to understand the social environment, build genuine connections, and work on yourself.

Remember, every potential partner you meet is a step towards a better understanding of yourself and what you truly value. Good luck on your journey, and most importantly, have fun and enjoy the process of self-discovery and growth.