Journey Through Medications: My Struggle with Depression and Anxiety

Depression and anxiety can be daunting challenges to overcome, and finding the right medication can often feel like a monumental task. This isn't a straightforward path; it's a winding road filled with trial and error. I've personally navigated this journey, making it to a place of acceptance and stability with the help of various medications. Along the way, I've tried over 30 psychiatric medications, some of which have worked well while others have caused much distress.

The Long Road to Stability

My journey began in the early 1970s with a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and anxiety. This condition has required a long list of psychiatric medications, including Monoamine Oxidase Inhibitors (MAOIs), Tricyclic Antidepressants, methylphenidate (Ritalin), benzodiazepines, and various Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs). Many of these medications have been used and later discontinued based on their effectiveness or side effects.

My Personal Experience with Antidepressants

During my time managing my mental health, I have been on an extensive range of antidepressants, both primary and secondary. Let's take a closer look at some of these medications:

Lexapro (Escitalopram): Currently works well for me, reducing anxiety and panic attacks. I appreciate the benefits without significant side effects. Prozac (Fluoxetine): Did not work for me, and the experience was not positive. Zoloft (Sertraline): Provided some relief but came with intolerable side effects that led to discontinuation. Celexa (Citalopram): Unfortunately, did not provide the desired results. Effexor (Venlafaxine): Also unsuccessful in providing long-term relief. Pristiq (Desvenlafaxine): Another ineffective option. Remeron (Mirtazapine): Felt like a zombie, and the side effects were too severe to continue. Buspar (Buspirone): Effective for anxiety but did not address all my needs. Wellbutrin (Bupropion): Works well for me, though it has a few side effects. Remeron (Mirtazapine): Previously ineffective. Paxil (Paroxetine): One of the earlier medications that didn't work. Valium (Diazepam): Used for anxiety but required medical supervision to manage. Lexapro (Escitalopram): Another effective and long-term medication. Xanax (Alprazolam): Used as needed for anxiety and panic attacks. Lithium: Successfully managed bipolar symptoms but not used for depression. Sinequan (Doxepin): An older antidepressant that provided temporary relief.

The Process of Finding the Right Medication

My journey with medications has been a complex one, involving various dosages and combinations. Each antidepressant I took either worked wonderfully, failed miserably, or came with a list of side effects that forced a switch. The process is one of trial and error, and it's crucial to work closely with healthcare professionals.

Although I've been through the ringer with my mental health medications, the current regimen of Lexapro, Trazodone, and Xanax as needed is providing the balance I need to function and maintain my quality of life. This journey has taught me to be patient, persistent, and grateful for the medications that help me overcome daily struggles.

Final Thoughts

The road to stability with antidepressants and psychiatric medications can be long and winding. It often involves finding the right combination of drugs, understanding their effects, and working closely with healthcare professionals. My experience has shown me that stability is possible, and it's important to stay open to all options.