My Journey to Discovering Adult ADHD and the Path to Recovery

As someone who spent decades working on ‘bad habits’ and exploring various meditation schools and trainings, I always believed that my struggles were due to personal flaws. However, a pivotal change in my journey occurred when I started working in the medical field, surrounded by actual physicians and nurses. It was here that I was diagnosed with ADHD, a condition previously denied by my mother, who believed it was a western society’s excuse for bad behavior and laziness in children.

A Misdiagnosis and the Path to Discovery

My teachers, who knew I daydreamed and faced math problems, did not suspect ADHD. Neither did my principals, who recognized me as a sweet, shy child. Despite my family, who were a long line of undiagnosed ADHD individuals, not suspecting it, and my family doctor, who never suspected it, I struggled through my school years with a weak ego and lack of self-confidence.

The Turning Point

It wasn’t until I was in my 40s that I finally received a diagnosis. My life drastically changed after a close friend who recognized ADHD symptoms in me suggested it could be the answer to my long-standing issues. This was followed by a visit to a psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD, who confirmed my diagnosis of ADHD with hyperactivity and dyscalculia. My journey began in earnest, but the path to recovery was far from smooth.

The Breakdown and Recovery

My discovery of ADHD came at a time when I was suffering from severe anxiety, which exacerbated my mental health issues. Eventually, I sought therapy, and after a few sessions, my therapist revealed the news that I had ADHD. However, it wasn’t until I was about 31-32 years old that I was officially diagnosed and began treatment.

Overcoming Depression and ADHD

A severe depressive episode led me to seek treatment, and when the treatment for depression didn't work, our doctor hypothesized that the symptoms pointed to ADHD. After testing and additional consultation, I was finally diagnosed. The diagnosis came at a dark time in my life, and initially, it didn’t make me feel any better. I blamed my parents and my primary care physician for their personal beliefs and ignoring my needs. However, with time, I learned to manage my condition and make peace with my ADHD diagnosis.

Personal Impact and Lessons Learned

Living with ADHD has had a profound impact on my personal and professional life. I’ve wrecked many relationships due to my struggles, and my job-hopping has been a result of my difficulty in finding a stable work environment. Despite holding four college degrees, I have not fully utilized my education. However, with the right support and understanding, I’ve learned to navigate life more effectively. My journey, while challenging, has taught me the importance of recognizing and accepting ADHD, and the value of seeking help and support.

My hope is that sharing my journey can provide insights and support to others who may be struggling with similar issues. If you are dealing with depression, please don’t push yourself, but seek help and understand that recovery is possible with the right treatment and support.