Navigating Communication with Autistic Individuals: Practical Tips and Insights

Effective communication with autistic individuals can be a rewarding experience, but it often requires a different approach compared to typical neurotypical (NT) communication. Here are some practical tips and insights to help you navigate these interactions successfully.

1. Don’t Take It Personally

It's important to remember that many autistic individuals may not display typical social cues, such as making eye contact or engaging in small talk. For example, if an autistic person doesn't look you in the eye or appear to care much about your personal insights, don't take it personally. This is not a sign of rudeness or a lack of interest; it's often a natural part of how they communicate.

Think of it like a cat with a broken tail. Just as the cat might be misinterpreted due to its unusual tail, autistic individuals might be misinterpreted due to their unique social communication patterns. Their behaviors are often not intentional and may not accurately reflect their feelings or intentions.

2. Adapt Your Communication Style

Speak slowly and clearly. This helps autistic individuals process the information more efficiently.

Stand at least 3 feet away. Maintain some space to help reduce anxiety and sensory overload.

Avoid physical contact. Touch can be overwhelming and disorienting, so it's best to keep a comfortable distance.

Wait patiently for a response. Some autistic individuals may take longer to process information or answer. If they don't respond, it's okay to walk away. They may simply be uninterested or dealing with sensory overload.

3. Engage in Their Interests

One effective way to engage an autistic individual is through their interests. For example, if they are keen on a specific video game, card game, or other hobby, you can use this as a gateway to conversation. This approach taps into their comfort zone and can make the interaction more meaningful.

For instance, an individual with an autistic spectrum disorder (ASD) may not respond well to conventional forms of communication. In such cases, their communication style might be highly specific and context-dependent. One notable example involves speaking in lines from movies, shows, or video games.

For instance, a parent of an autistic child shared an anecdote: 'My son, now 30 but even as an elementary student, spoke using lines from movies, shows, or video games. I had a County social worker argue with me that he wasn’t autistic because they had sat and “talked.”' However, the parent pointed out that the social worker was always responding to what the child had said, rather than initiating her own conversation. After a half-hour of the social worker being unable to get the child to respond to her, the parent recognized that the child's comments were not simple comments but 'lines' from his favorite media.

4. Respect Their Preferred Routines

Many autistic individuals have established routines that help them feel comfortable and function effectively. Disturbing these routines can be overwhelming and disorienting, so it's best to respect their routines when interacting with them.

For example, if you encounter a person who seems to be repeating the same topic in conversation, avoid interrupting. These topics can be heavily weighted in their minds and may not be easily diverted. If you have important information or contrary opinions, it might be best to let it go for the moment. You can revisit the topic later when they are more receptive.

5. Create a Comfortable Environment

Some autistic individuals find social interactions very uncomfortable due to sensory overload or anxiety. If you notice that someone seems particularly anxious in a social setting, it's best to leave them in peace. Overstimulation can be overwhelming, and the person may need time to decompress in a less overwhelming environment.

It's important to remember that each autistic individual is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. By staying patient, respectful, and understanding, you can help create a more supportive and inclusive environment for those on the autism spectrum.