Navigating Cross-Talking in Narcotics Anonymous: Guiding Principles for Effective Meetings

As a member of the Narcotics Anonymous (NA) community, you may have experienced the discomfort and disruption caused by cross-talking during meetings. Cross-talking refers to the practice where one member interrupts another while they are sharing their experience, focusing instead on giving advice or directly engaging with the speaker. This behavior can seriously detract from the core principles of mutual support and respect that NA aims to promote.

Understanding Cross-Talking in NA Meetings

Consider an example where member Alex is opening a meeting by sharing their struggles with addiction and mentioning an overwhelming desire for cravings. Immediately, Jamie follows with, "You know, I've experienced similar cravings and what helped me was...". In this instance, Jamie has taken a disruptive approach by addressing Alex's individual experience rather than sharing their own. This not only puts Alex on the spot but also shifts the focus away from the collective sharing and support that NA meetings are meant to provide.

Guidelines to Avoid Cross-Talking

To foster a more supportive and respectful atmosphere during Na meetings, all members should adhere to the following guidelines:

1. Focus on Personal Experiences

Members are strongly encouraged to share their own stories and feelings rather than giving advice or directly responding to others. Doing so will help maintain the focus on personal experiences, allowing for a richer and more authentic exchange. For instance, instead of engaging Jamie's comment, Alex might respond with, "I'm listening to what you're saying, and it reminds me of a time when I felt...".

2. Use Language Carefully

Employing phrases such as "I have experienced something similar" or "In my own experience, I found that..." can help maintain the flow of the meeting and ensure that the conversation remains personal. This approach not only supports the sharing of individual journeys but also respects the sanctity of the collective experience.

3. Respect the Group's Flow

Allow each member the space to speak without interruptions or direct responses to what others have said. This means listening actively and waiting for your turn to share your own experience. By respecting the group's flow, you contribute to a more orderly and supportive meeting environment.

The Importance of the 'I' Point of View

For individuals who are accustomed to giving advice directly, the concept of speaking in the 'I' point of view can be particularly challenging. In 12-step programs, the emphasis on personal experiences and narratives helps create a unique dialogic structure. This approach, exemplified by NA, encourages members to reflect on and articulate their own journeys, fostering a more introspective and empathetic community.

For a person like myself, who is used to an empathetic and advice-giving approach, this adherence to the 'I' point of view within NA was a profound shift. It required me to be patient, reflect deeply, and articulate my own experiences rather than immediately offering solutions. This practice not only helped me legitimize scenarios in my life but also taught me the value of speaking from a personal perspective.

The experience of speaking in 'the I point of view' in NA has been transformative. It has not only enhanced my ability to support others within the group but also improved my interpersonal skills in broader contexts. This structured dialogic approach has provided a safe and nurturing environment for me to grow and heal.