Navigating Life with Asperger’s: A Personal Journey

As I reflect on my journey, I have come to terms with the fact that I was diagnosed with Asperger’s in my mid-forties during a state unemployment facility appointment. While the term ‘Asperger’s’ was not as commonly considered a problem back then, the diagnosis provided much-needed clarity for me, explaining the challenges I had faced all my life with social interactions.

My story took an unexpected turn when my psychiatrist and therapist reviewed a diagnostic assessment I had taken and controversially proposed I was not diagnosed with Asperger’s after all. Instead, they suggested a diagnosis of autism. Intrigued and somewhat relieved, I embraced this new understanding of my diagnosis. For me, it aligns closely with my personal experience of social pragmatic challenges stemming from emotional neglect during my childhood.

Though I do not readily seek professional help, having encountered psychotherapy in the past, I have learned to navigate my own well-being. My attempts to outsmart professionals and manipulate diagnostic outcomes have been unsuccessful, leading me to reflect on my choices and actions.

From Recessions to Self-Reflection

The period of my life when I was over 50 and struggling to find employment during a recession was a significant turning point. I had an appointment to get tested for Asperger’s, which, at that time, was not a widely recognized issue. The diagnosis was a revelation to me, as it shed light on years of emotional and social struggles. Finally, there was an explanation.

From Asperger’s to Autism: A New Perspective

Originally, I was diagnosed with social pragmatism. However, my psychiatrist and therapist looked at the diagnoses from the assessment I had taken and surprisingly concluded that my original diagnosis of Asperger’s was incorrect. They suggested an alternative diagnosis of autism. For me, this made a lot of sense, as it aligns better with my personal experiences and challenges.

Living with Emotional Neglect and Developmental Challenges

Much of my developmental challenges can be attributed to emotional neglect. I have always struggled with relating to others and understanding social cues, which can be frustrating. Despite these challenges, I have found ways to help others through personal interactions and meaningful support. My natural compassion and desire for intimacy have been instrumental in fostering these relationships.

Supporting Others and Personal Growth

Throughout my life, I have helped many people navigate various mental health issues and life challenges. I have provided a clear perspective and guidance to friends dealing with self-control issues, helping them avoid job loss or self-harm. Additionally, I have supported my parents by being an attentive listener and offering assistance in solving problems through effective communication.

Though I acknowledge the presence of numerous flaws and character defects, I have grown to understand that these attributes do not define my entire being. I am also a loving father, a hardworking individual, and a generous coach. My intuitive nature and ability to listen and communicate effectively have greatly enriched my life and the lives of those around me.

Self-Discovery and Personal Development

Over the past twenty years, I have undergone a journey of self-discovery and personal development. Eight years ago, I delved deeply into understanding various aspects of mental health, relationships, and the interconnectedness of human experiences. I explored topics like personal disorders, mental illness, astrology, and various religions, bouncing back and forth for about two years before realizing the importance of choosing to believe in myself.

Currently, I believe that my mental health challenges are a combination of autism traits, bipolarity, depression, narcissistic tendencies, and addiction. Recognizing and accepting these aspects of my personality has been liberating, allowing me to move forward with a more authentic and resilient mindset.

Conclusion

In conclusion, my personal journey with Asperger’s and subsequent autism diagnosis has been a complex and enlightening one. While challenges have been numerous, my experiences have made me a compassionate and intuitive person, able to offer support and guidance to others. In embracing my true self, I have found a sense of fulfillment and purpose in life.