Navigating Narcissism: How to Approach Therapy with a Narcissist

Introduction

When dealing with a narcissist, the approach to therapy must be handled with care. Attempting to force a narcissist into therapy is often ineffective and can lead to further manipulation and harm. This article explores the challenges and strategies in getting a narcissist to consider therapy, emphasizing that while most narcissists resist treatment, there are specific approaches that can be considered.

Understanding the Challenge

The first step in addressing a narcissist's resistance to therapy is to understand the inherent challenges. True narcissists with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) often have a deep-seated need for control and manipulation. They are unlikely to seek therapy voluntarily, as their core issue lies in their core identity and not just dysfunctional behavior patterns. Therapists are not typically equipped to treat NPD, as they would need to delve into core issues of morality, self-identity, and deep-seated resentment.

Strategies for Encouraging Therapy

While direct intervention may be futile, there are subtle methods that can be employed to encourage a narcissist to consider therapy:

Lying and Misleading

One unconventional but effective strategy involves misdirection. This might involve suggesting that therapy is about a fun activity. For example, 'We’re going to McDonalds for a cheeseburger and then we can talk to the therapist.' This approach can bypass their resistance by framing therapy as something less intimidating.

Legal Means

For individuals who are considered highly-functioning, such as those in high-paying jobs or with powerful spouses, legal intervention can sometimes serve as a motivator. Threatening to take away a crucial part of their life, like their job or relationship, can prompt them to consider therapy. A court order might also be a legitimate and effective means of ensuring compliance.

Therapeutic Approaches for Behavioral Changes

It's important to recognize that therapy isn't a cure for NPD, but it can be a tool for behavior modification. The goal isn't to heal the underlying issues but to help the individual manage their behavior. This can include techniques to improve communication, reduce manipulation, and enhance empathy.

Dealing with Manipulation and Resistance

Many narcissists are skilled at manipulation, and this extends to therapy as well. Even when a therapist knows the truth, a narcissist may attempt to manipulate the situation, such as pretending to cry or retreating into a 'cruel dishonest' facade. As one example, a narcissist might make false promises to his or her therapist and then later blame the therapist for not keeping their promises.

It's crucial to understand that narcissists do not suffer from a 'hurt child' complex, as often falsely portrayed. Rather, their behaviors are rooted in a deeply corrupt core. The idea of a narcissist telling 'the truth' to a therapist is akin to Donald Trump confessing his flaws— highly improbable given their inherent deceitfulness.

Conclusion

While convincing a narcissist to enter therapy is not easy, utilizing strategic approaches can increase the likelihood of success. Overall, the key is to recognize the challenges and work with the individual's resistance in a measured and thoughtful manner. This might involve indirect methods, legal measures, or a focus on behavioral changes rather than fundamental healing. Ultimately, the goal should be to mitigate harmful behaviors and improve the quality of life for all involved.