Navigating Toxic Friendships: Steps to Take When You Feel Suffocated

Feeling suffocated in a friendship can be a distressing experience. It's important to address these feelings gently but firmly, and to take steps towards personal growth and well-being. Here, we'll explore different approaches and strategies for dealing with this challenging situation, drawing from personal experiences and expert advice.

Telling Them How You Feel

Communication is key in any relationship. If you're feeling suffocated or restricted by a certain friend, it's important to convey your feelings to them. Approach the conversation with kindness; after all, kindness begets kindness. Be gentle with your words, and explain that while you value their friendship, you need some space and support.

If they are your best friend, they should understand and care about your feelings. Avoid ghosting or ignoring their calls or texts; doing so can lead to misunderstandings and further harm. Sometimes, the best approach is to be honest, but always consider the timing and setting of the conversation to ensure it is delivered effectively.

Requesting More Space

Another approach is to request some space from your friend. Friends should respect your need for solitude at times. You might say, "Hey, guys! I'd like some personal space to explore and meet new people. I feel suffocated by you guys and I need some me time." Although this approach may not be ideal for everyone, it can help set healthy boundaries.

A Personal Story

Years ago, when I first moved out west in my mid-20s, I encountered a very different kind of friendship: "fairweather friends," friendship types who only show up when it’s convenient for them. One night, I decided to take action. Instead of engaging with these superficial connections, I parked my car three blocks away to avoid their attention, turned off all lights but two in my apartment, and got to work on a new path.

I wrote down the addresses and phone numbers of various charitable organizations and volunteer groups, and used the phone book to find places outside my usual hangouts, like different laundry mats, grocery stores, and bank branches. I made a conscious effort to walk on a new path that none of them would follow.

If you feel that your current friendships are toxic or damaging to your wellbeing, it's essential to work hard and stay focused on taking steps to be off your current path and onto a new one. This might mean changing your phone number or even moving to a different area. Remember, your personal growth and well-being should always be a priority.

Conclusion

Dealing with a feeling of suffocation in a friendship can be tough, but by communicating your needs and taking proactive steps to create healthier relationships, you can find the space and support you need to thrive. Whether it's setting boundaries, exploring new friendships, or completely changing your environment, taking action is the first step towards a happier and healthier life.