Navigating Trust in Therapy: Dealing with Therapists Who Quit, Move or Retire

Every therapist eventually is going to retire, some of them will quit, or move away. Like with any relationship in your life, nothing is permanent. People leave, people move away, people die…

If you plan to get back into therapy again, the best thing you can do is to be transparent with the new therapist about your concerns. Talk with them from the beginning and keep bringing these concerns up from time to time. Ensure your new therapist is aware of your apprehensions and needs, especially if feelings of abandonment or loss are significant in your life.

If you were previously at an agency or clinic, understand that it's possible your previous therapist was fired from their job. It's important to acknowledge that therapists, like all humans, face life changes. They may get divorced, bereaved, sick, and eventually want to retire. Therapists cannot ethically promise not to quit, move, or retire. There is always a new opportunity to work with another therapist.

Building Trust in a New Therapist

Trust in a therapist is not a given, especially if you have had negative experiences with your previous therapists. But you can develop a limited trust and proceed the best you can. You may face the existential choice of trying again or giving up. We all hunger for permanency and may achieve it to some degree within the therapy process.

It is important to note that you don't automatically have trust when you start therapy. If you want to give therapy another try, then do that. And if these situations occur again, it is inevitable. Feelings of being abandoned, especially if you have an attachment disorder, can be excruciating. You search for anyone to be there for you but eventually, they all go. It's a painful reality.

Personal Reflection and Growth

Reflect on your personal experiences and how they have shaped your approach to therapy. For instance, if you are dealing with an attachment disorder, you may struggle to trust anyone. However, you can work on building resilience and the ability to rise again after facing setbacks, which is a key aspect of growth.

When my recent therapist mismanaged our relationship, I ultimately had to leave. I could not trust him enough after a major breach in trust. Similarly, I had to deal with the shame and anticipation of abandonment, leading me to leave before he did. Despite these setbacks, I picked myself up and had another go. Although not very successful, I again faced the challenge of trying again and learning from my experiences.

Persistent Growth and Trust

Trust in yourself and your ability to get up and try again is what therapy is truly about. It is a kindly supported process to help you learn to be more vulnerable and to trust in your recovery and resilience. You cannot protect yourself from all eventualities, but you can work on building the ability to trust and to face the challenges head-on.

My current therapist is a significant step forward and I am starting to forge a relationship with them. The support from other Quorans has allowed me to focus on the key things I want in a therapist. While I cannot be sure if I will go through similar experiences again, I do believe that the core issue has more to do with my ability to trust myself to get up and try again.

The Final Verdict

While it is unfortunate that therapists may eventually move, retire, or quit, it is important to recognize that these experiences are part of life. The good news is that they may not necessarily abandon you. Trust in a therapist is a journey, and while it may not be easy, it is a crucial aspect of your personal growth and resilience.