Navigating the Journey to Comfortable Crying in Therapy

Crying in therapy can be a powerful tool for emotional healing, but it's not always easy. Some might hold back their tears due to feelings of shame or embarrassment. This article explores the reasons why crying can be challenging, offers advice on how to feel comfortable crying, and provides strategies to help you navigate this journey.

Understanding Anticipatory Shame

The act of crying involves exposing a tender and sensitive part of oneself, bringing up feelings of shame and embarrassment. This is because crying in front of a therapist reveals aspects of you that may have been hurt in the past. These past wounds are often bound up with feelings of shame and inadequacy. Crying, in effect, allows you to relive painful feelings and confront the source of your shame (yourself or others).

The Role of Therapists in Supporting Emotional Expression

Your therapist is not waiting for you to cry. Instead, they are there to meet you where you are and support you in your emotional journey. They are unlikely to expect you to cry on command, but may gently encourage it if they sense it could be beneficial for you. Trust is a crucial element in this process, and it may take time for you to be comfortable enough to express yourself freely.

Building Emotional Strength and Safety

It's important to understand that forcing oneself to cry is not always the best approach. Building emotional strength and creating a sense of safety is key. This involves:

Making gradual progress: Start by allowing yourself to express smaller emotions. You can build up to more significant emotional expressions over time. Practicing visualization: Visualize a safe and manageable crying experience with your therapist. Imagine how you would feel, how your therapist would react, and how you would cope. Seeking support: Discuss your feelings and concerns with your therapist. They can provide guidance and support as you navigate this process.

It's also important to remember that permission to express emotions in therapy is always granted by your therapist, no matter your past experiences. However, internal permission from yourself is just as crucial.

Addressing Worthy and Deservingness

Feeling worthy of your tears is fundamental to emotional healing. Our worthiness is an inherent birthright, not something we can earn or lose. It is independent of our actions, intentions, or beliefs. Your therapist may support you in this journey, but ultimately, you must accept and believe in your own worthiness.

Repeating affirmations that you are worthy and deserved of your tears can help. These affirmations can become a part of your daily routine, reinforcing your belief in your inherent worth.

Conclusion: The Path to Emotional Freedom

The path to comfortable crying in therapy is deeply personal and can take time. Trust in the process, be patient with yourself, and seek support whenever you need it. Remember, the goal is to create a space where you feel safe, allowed, able, confident, and worthy to express your emotions fully.

Lastly, hang in there. The process of emotional healing can be challenging, but the relief and peace that come from fully expressing yourself are worth the journey.