Overcoming Depression and the Unsettling Comfort It Brought

Many individuals find themselves asking why they miss the comfort of their previous state of depression, even after long periods of recovery. This article aims to shed light on the complexity of this condition and the mental shifts that can occur during the healing process.

Why Missing Depression Can Be a Sign of Growth

There may be a few reasons why someone might miss the feeling of being 'down.' The concept of self-worth is often intertwined with this feeling. Many individuals who previously experienced depression don't consciously consider themselves worthy of happiness, leading to a sense that they don’t deserve these positive emotions. This belief can result in feeling ungrateful or unworthy when happiness does come around.

The Upside of Being Down

Depression, while a deeply painful condition, can also be self-perpetuating because of the sense of self-pity and victimhood it can engender. When one feels as though they are the victim and the world is against them, it can produce a feeling of sympathy in others. This can be self-reinforcing, as it keeps the individual perpetuating the cycle of feeling sorry for themselves. However, as they recover, they may realize they are opening themselves up to more hurt, but also more experiences of love and connection.

Training the Mind and Focusing on Positivity

After a period of recovery, an individual’s mind can often become unstable and roving. The thoughts and emotions can veer into negative patterns if left unchecked, just as a wild horse may run off in any direction. To regain control, it is essential to retrain the mind to focus on the positive and set systematic goals that bring a sense of fulfillment. Defining these goals and working towards them can help break the negative cycles that depression often creates.

Faith and Hope in Life's Ups and Downs

One of the key concepts that can support mental recovery is the development of faith and hope. Life is made up of a series of ups and downs, and while negative scenarios may seem plausible, they are not necessarily probable. By focusing on negative thoughts and scenarios, one attracts more of them, while redirecting those energies towards positive outcomes fosters a healthier mindset.

Missing Depression and Moving On

I sometimes miss my depression, mainly because it offered a sense of protection and comfort from emotional hurt. When one is depressed, there is a tendency to shut oneself down, making it easier to avoid the pain of heartbreak and rejection. However, during recovery, one starts to open themselves up, becoming more vulnerable. This can be intimidating, but it also invites a deeper level of connection and emotional growth.

The Sweet Comfort of Poetry and Sorrow

Reflecting on the past, I remember the emotional fuel that drove my poetry during my depression. The pain and suffering provided the raw material for evocative words and schemes of passion and evil. Even though I do not want to return to that state, I miss the depth of emotion that it brought. It's true, sorrow is the fuel that keeps a poet's fire burning, just as it may be the wine that intoxicates and inspires.

For anyone going through a similar journey, it is important to acknowledge and understand these feelings. Recovery is not just about overcoming one's struggles but also embracing the evolution that comes with growth.