Parental Mistreatment: About Forgiveness, Patience, and Moving On

Many individuals struggle with the complex emotions that arise when their parents do not offer the love and care they deserve. In situations where a parent has been incarcerated or has caused significant damage, the question of forgiveness often arises. Here, we will explore how to navigate this challenging journey, understanding the importance of patience, forgiveness, and moving on.

Understanding the Painful Experience

Situations like those of William Tobin and Richard Novak/Howell, where a parent ends up in legal trouble, can be particularly distressing. Such scenarios can lead to a parent lying or behaving arrogantly, perhaps to cover up their actions. However, it's important to recognize that their behaviors are rooted in personal choices and circumstances, which are not your responsibility to change.

For those contemplating forgiveness:

Prayerful Forgiveness: Consider seeking forgiveness through prayer, offering it as an act of love and release for both yourself and your parent. Direct Communication: Choose to inform them through a simple note or in person if you feel it's necessary. Mental Release: Move on, wishing them well while recognizing that their issues are their own and no longer yours to carry.

Acknowledging the Importance of Patience

Your parent is a critical pillar in your life, even if it feels invisible. There might be a reason for their behavior, and understanding this can foster patience and tolerance. Your father, despite his flaws, has contributed to who you are today and should not be completely disregarded.

Believe that their acknowledgment of their mistakes will come in time, and your patience will be rewarded. This realization can guide you to handle the situation more constructively and compassionately.

Realizing the Limitations of Forgiveness

Personal Experiences: From a personal perspective, it has been observed that most people, including parents, do not change, no matter how much they are made to understand their mistakes. Acknowledging this reality is crucial for moving forward.

Forgiveness Isn't a Cure: Forgiveness is not about restoring opportunities missed during childhood or gaining back an ideal past. It's about accepting the current reality and understanding the unchangeability of certain events.

Writing and Sharing: Consider writing your experiences down and sharing them with others, especially parents who might benefit from your insights. This can serve as a guide to avoid similar mistakes and help raise more compassionate and attentive parents.

Final Thoughts

Parental mistreatment is a deeply personal challenge that can leave lasting scars. However, it's important to focus on your emotional well-being and find ways to move forward. Forgiveness, patience, and understanding can be powerful tools in this journey, even if not all situations can be changed. By accepting what has happened, you can work towards healing and growing as an individual.

Remember, while you cannot change your past, you can take control of your future and ensure that the children in your life have the love, care, and attention they deserve.