Recovery Journey in Alcoholics Anonymous: Relapsing vs. Starting Over

The question of whether relapsing in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) means starting over from the beginning is a complex and frequently debated topic within the recovery community. According to AA, if you relapse, there is no need to start your sobriety journey from the beginning. However, it does mean that you will need to reevaluate your progress and start over with your sobriety coins.

Sobriety Coins and Relapse

AA utilizes a system of sobriety coins to track an individual's progress in recovery. These coins are awarded for different periods of sobriety, starting from 30 days and going up to 10 years or more. For example, if you have a 90-day coin and then relapse, you will have to start from scratch and earn your 30-, 60-, and 90-day coins again. While this process can be challenging, it is important to remember that the focus should be on continuing to abstain from alcohol and attending meetings.

The Impact of Fear on Recovery

Many individuals in AA find that the fear of losing their clean time and having to start over is a significant motivating factor for maintaining sobriety. They may fear the accompanying shame and regret. If fear plays a pivotal role in one's ability to stay sober, then it is understandable and acceptable. However, not everyone's recovery journey is based on fear; some, like myself, find motivation through faith, action, and helping others.

My Personal Experience

My own journey to sobriety was not driven by fear but by involvement in the 12-steps with a good sponsor, practicing a new found faith, and centering my life around helping others. Within a month of my new sobriety, my obsession with alcohol was replaced by joy, hope, and peace. While I do not have a significant need for counting years, many in AA do. Keeping in the zone through regular meetings, helping others, and maintaining spiritual practices can help one stay on track.

There was an instance where after about four years, I experienced a desire for a drink. If the situation had been different and I had relapsed, I would not have blamed myself or tried to uncover the root cause. Relapse is a part of the recovery journey, and it is crucial to learn from the experience and carry on with what was working for you.

Conclusion

Relapsing in AA is not a failure but an opportunity to reset and try again. It is essential to focus on the present, stay in the moment, and continue participating in meetings and spiritual practices. If you find yourself relapsing, it is important to recognize that it is a part of recovery and to use it as a learning experience to improve your sobriety journey.