Supporting a Friend with Borderline Personality Disorder: Effective Strategies

The challenges that come with being a friend to someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be overwhelming. However, with the right approach, you can be a pillar of support for your loved one. Here are some key strategies to adopt as you navigate this journey.

Understanding BPD

1. Don't be a dick: This may seem obvious, but it's crucial to maintain respect and empathy. People with BPD often experience intense and overwhelming emotions, which might lead to erratic behavior. Your role is not to mete out punishment or judgment but to understand and support.

Empathy and Understanding

2. Be sensitive: Recognize that your friend's emotional state can be volatile. While it can be challenging, try to be patient and understanding. Your empathy can make a significant difference in how they perceive and navigate their feelings.

Setting Boundaries

3. Be understanding but firm: Listening is important, but so is setting boundaries. Encourage your friend to understand your point of view as well. Communication is two-way, and you have a right to express yourself and be heard. This balance helps in maintaining a healthy relationship.

Maintaining Your Space

4. Take space when needed: It's okay to step away if things get too intense. Excuse yourself and give yourself some time to process. Encourage your friend to do the same. This helps in defusing heated situations and prevents feelings of resentment.

Encouraging Mood Improvement

5. Shift the mood with humor: When things get too intense, shift the focus to something more positive. Watch something funny, tell jokes, and encourage your friend to join in. Laughter can be a powerful tool in creating healing and soothing moments.

Avoiding Condescension

6. Don't be condescending: This is a critical point. When a person with BPD is acting up, they might be snarky or sarcastic. Responding in a similarly condescending manner can escalate the situation. Instead, stay calm and avoid escalations by remaining gentle and respectful.

Effective Communication

7. Communicate, communicate, communicate: People with BPD often struggle with communication. They tend to assume the worst in others, which can lead to misunderstandings. Be clear and direct, but do it gently. State your case without judgment, which can help your friend respond rationally.

Conclusion

The best thing you can do as a friend is to be a loyal, understanding support. Learn about BPD and approach the situation with patience. By following these strategies, you can help your friend navigate their challenges and facilitate their healing journey.