The Independence Trap: How to Get Your Basic Needs as an Adult

Are you considering living with your parents well into adulthood, expecting them to cover your basic needs? While the term 'adulting' is becoming more commonly used, many still struggle with understanding the true definition of self-reliance. Living with a parent and relying on them for your basic needs can be a form of the 'independence trap,' where you fail to fully embrace your independence and the responsibilities that come with it.

The Case of Relying on Parents for Basic Needs

Your story, where you live with your dad without having to pay for heating, electricity, or water, is a common one. You might feel entitled to these basic needs, but the truth is, they are gifts from your parent, not obligations. Many young adults who continue living with their parents also receive a lot of other amenities, like food, healthcare, and an endless supply of kindness and support. However, adults need to start taking responsibility for their own lives and basic needs.

Legal Obligations and Entitlement

Understandably, you might think that your father owes you more than just housing, especially since you cannot support yourself. However, unless there is a specific legal agreement, such as a post-secondary education order, your father has fulfilled his legal obligations towards you as a young adult. At 22, you are considered an adult, and the onus is on you to manage your own basic needs.

Unfortunately, there are people in similar situations who are fortunate enough to have these basic needs supported by their parents. While it might feel like a disadvantage to you, many adults who live independently face financial challenges and have to manage their resources wisely. Recognize that what you have is a gift and not a right.

Contributing to Household Costs

Often, living with a parent and not contributing to household costs is a form of living rent-free. If you have a job and are financially independent, you should be paying for your own food, clothing, and other living expenses. Even if you are not working, taking initiative to share household responsibilities can demonstrate your commitment to independence and appreciation for the resources provided.

For example, offering to regularly cook a meal, do laundry, or clean can be a great way to contribute to the household. By acknowledging the value of these contributions, you are not only helping out but also reinforcing your independence and self-sufficiency.

Paths to Financial Independence

Many young adults eventually move out of their parents' home to live independently and build their own life. It is a necessary step in personal and financial maturity. While it might seem difficult or overwhelming, the first step is deciding to take control of your life and start making responsible decisions about your own needs and wants.

Not all adults are in the fortunate position of living rent-free. Many contribute to household costs, even in exchange for parental support. This might include paying rent, utility bills, and other living expenses. Recognize that independence does not mean isolation or self-denial; it means taking responsibility for your own well-being and future.

As you navigate the challenges of adulthood, keep in mind that financial independence is a key component of self-sufficiency. It is not about living in luxury but about being able to support yourself and make your own choices. Parents do not owe you extended financial support; they might choose to help if they are able to, but this is not a legal requirement, nor should you expect it as a right.

Remember, the sooner you take the steps towards financial independence and self-sufficiency, the better equipped you will be to manage your life and responsibilities as an adult. Whether you are working or not, contributing to household costs and acknowledging your independence is a crucial part of this journey.