The Journey to True Self: Embracing Change and Living Your Values

One often wonders, 'How can we be sure that we truly are who we have become?' This age-old question has puzzled many, leading to a myriad of thoughts and beliefs. Instead of fixating on our current state or the idea of 'who we are,' it is more beneficial to focus on who we choose to be. Over time, and through active decision-making, we evolve and adapt to become better versions of ourselves. However, it is crucial to remember that change is continuous, and our identity is fluid, not static.

Evolution Through Choice and Action

We make countless choices every day, and each decision further shapes the person we are and will become. While it’s tempting to believe that the path we choose today is the ultimate one, reality is more complex. Even if you make the best possible choices without making a significant shift, you are still evolving. Our lives are a series of adaptations as we seek to live our values more authentically. But there are moments when we experience a more dramatic change in our lives. We may find ourselves questioning whether we’ve truly transformed, or if we’ve merely adapted to a different set of circumstances.

The key to understanding who you are and who you are becoming lies in your actions. Simply put, you can only be sure of who you choose to be today. The notion of being 'sure' about who you are is misleading because you are constantly evolving. Throughout life, you are adapting and living with the best choices you know. However, these choices are not always the absolute best possible ones either. Action is the ultimate proof of who you choose to be, and your actions should align with your values and desired state.

Faking It Until You Make It: Aligning Actions with Values

Many people act one way in words but another in deeds. For instance, someone may claim, "I hate drama," yet creates drama for others. Or a partner may proclaim, "I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone and would never hurt you," only to cheat when the moment seems opportune. Similarly, a person might say, "I want to lose 20 pounds!" yet continue bad eating habits in an attempt to resist the craving for comfort food. These actions do not reflect their true values, indicating a significant misalignment.

The journey to true self is about realigning our behavior with our internal processes. It’s not a single, epiphanic moment but rather a consistent commitment to living according to our values. Just as ripples in a pond expand outwards, your actions and behaviors will reflect your true self over time. Eventually, you will notice a shift, realizing that you are consistently embodying your core values. Only then will you truly understand that change has occurred.

The Evaluation through Peripheral Perception

Your true self is also reflected in how others perceive you. People around you will give you the feedback that you need regarding your actions and behaviors. They will speak more about you than you ever will. Begin by taking time at the end of each day to reflect on your actions. Think about the moments where you may have treated someone incorrectly or if they might have treated you incorrectly. Apply the Golden Rule: treat others as you would like to be treated and consider how you can use this lesson to improve future situations. Let go of anger, selfishness, and egotism. Remember, what you sow, you shall reap. This is the essence of karma or cause and effect.

Embracing a Superior Self

To achieve true self, it is crucial to aspire to be a more superior being. This journey involves removing desires as they are temporal by nature. By letting go of fleeting desires, the ego diminishes, and true happiness grows through a sense of contentment. Living authentically and making choices that align with your true values will guide you toward becoming the best version of yourself. This process is ongoing, requiring self-reflection and a commitment to personal growth.

Ultimately, the realization of true self is a profound journey. It involves recognizing and aligning our actions with our authentic values, evolving through choice, and reflecting on how others perceive us. By embracing this evolution and living with purpose, we can truly become who we are meant to be.