Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder: When a Person Withdraws and Shuts Down Communication

When a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) withdraws and shuts down communication, they are often aiming for a final blow to hurt the other person deeply. This action is a common tactic used by individuals with Cluster B personality disorders, as it gives them a sense of control over the situation.

The Intention Behind the Withdrawal

Those with BPD are highly aware of the pain they cause, using withdrawal as a form of punishment. They believe that by making the other person feel as bad as they do, they can achieve a level of emotional devastation. However, what they might not realize is the long-term impact this behavior has on those who care about them. People with BPD can easily move past such hurt within days by focusing on new interests or relationships.

The Emotional Disconnect

Even if there was a brief period of connection, it is often shallow and temporary. The lack of deep emotional attachment, true love, or genuine friendship is evident within a short time. People with BPD may leave such relationships entirely and be forgotten within weeks or months. It can be heartbreaking to realize that the relationship was never based on anything substantial.

Aftermath and Reactions

Following the sudden withdrawal, the individual might display a pattern of behavior designed to protect their image. They may tell others how pathetic you were for not moving on, share your personal information with others, and even make calls to solicit people to contact you. Strategies like non-contact communication or ghosting are used to further isolate and hurt the other person.

Internal Conflicts and Sensitivity

Individuals with BPD often face a myriad of conflicting emotions. While some might apologize sincerely, others realize they cannot control their actions. The emotions they experience are often tied to feelings of shame and fear. Once the splitting occurs, they might not be fully aware of their actions; however, afterwards, the intense self-awareness can lead to further avoidance.

Impact on Emotional Regulation

Emotions in BPD are intense and can lead to impulsive actions. People with BPD might lash out in a fight or flight response, regardless of the situation. It's essential for non-BPD individuals to validate these feelings rather than invalidate them. Helping them with strategies to manage their feelings can be beneficial.

splitting is a common mechanism for those with BPD, manifesting as a form of internal conflict between different aspects of the self. Understanding the signs and learning to cope during periods of splitting can help both the individual and those around them to navigate the challenges more effectively.

Conclusion

For those who have experienced the emotional trauma of a BPD-type relationship, it's essential to recognize that while the actions may seem deliberate and mean-spirited, they are often driven by deeper emotional struggles and a lack of self-awareness. It's crucial to approach such situations with empathy and understanding, rather than judgment.