Understanding Silent Treatment and Discard in Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is often misunderstood. Conditions like these can be tricky, especially when they involve manipulative behaviors and emotional fluctuation. Two such behaviors that are frequently discussed are the silent treatment and discarding. Both can be hurtful, but they stem from different emotional needs and patterns. This article will explore these behaviors, aiming to shed light on the complexities and provide insight into managing and understanding them.

Understanding the Silent Treatment

The silent treatment is a common but often misunderstood behavior. It typically involves a person choosing not to communicate or interact with another as a form of manipulation or to avoid accountability. The person giving the silent treatment might do so out of stress or an overwhelming emotional state. This behavior is often used as a way to avoid having to face a difficult situation or as a form of punishment for the target. People giving the silent treatment can find a simple solution by asking for space and setting a specific return time for the conversation.

Those on the receiving end of the silent treatment should address it by calling it out and setting a boundary, such as requesting space instead of maintaining silence. This approach ensures that communication remains open and that the issue can be addressed constructively. It is important to understand that the silent treatment is a manipulative tactic and not a healthy form of communication.

Understanding the Discard

The discard, on the other hand, is a more severe and definitive action. Unlike the silent treatment, which might be temporary and reversible, discarding a person is a permanent or nearly permanent removal from one's emotional and social life. This can happen to anyone, from anyone, and is not solely dependent on having a personality disorder.

Discarding is often associated with deep emotional hurt, and it can be both painful and challenging to handle. People with BPD often engage in discarding as a way to deal with overwhelming emotional pain. This behavior can be part of a complex pattern that is deeply rooted in the individual's emotional state.

Personal Insights from Someone with Quiet BPD

The author, who identifies as a person with quiet BPD, shares their experiences and insights into these behaviors. They explain that using the silent treatment is a way to punish themselves after splitting a person with whom they care deeply. The splitting is not done to control or manipulate others but to prevent pain and protect those they love.

The author also discusses their own discarding behaviors, which happen when someone has hurt them deeply or when they have hurt someone else deeply. They emphasize that this behavior is not about being heartless or cruel; it is a response to overwhelming emotional pain. They suggest that BPD involves extremes—either intense love or intense hate, euphoria or thoughts of suicide, satisfaction or disappointment.

It is essential to handle such situations with care and understanding. The author's open and honest approach to sharing their experiences can help others navigate their own emotions and behaviors.

Conclusion: The Importance of Understanding and Empathy

The silent treatment and discarding are complex behaviors that arise from deep-seated emotional needs and patterns. While they can be hurtful, understanding the underlying reasons for these behaviors is crucial. By approaching the issue with empathy and awareness, we can work towards healthier forms of communication and emotional regulation.

Remember, individuals with BPD often experience their emotions in extreme forms. By supporting them and understanding their struggles, we can foster greater empathy and help create healthier relationships. If you or someone you know is struggling with these behaviors, consider seeking professional help and support.