Understanding the Dynamics of a Narcissistic Marriage

The age-old adage that one should choose a partner for their personality and not their kurve (a play on 'curve' and 'coupe') is often disregarded in the chaos and excitement of falling in love. However, as we delve into the world of narcissistic marriages, it becomes clear that the allure of physical attraction can blind us to a much deeper, and often more dangerous, reality.

Patterns of Behavior in Narcissistic Partners

Let's examine a scenario where a narcissist has recently coupled with a new wife. The pattern of behavior often observed in such marriages is a stark reflection of the narcissist's signature traits. For instance, he may sexually reward her every other Friday night, purely as a response to her biweekly paycheque, rather than a genuine desire for companionship or mutual pleasure. This act, which might seem romantic to the uninformed or enamored, is in fact a form of manipulation.

The new wife, blinded by love, might not realize the underlying motives. She may fantasize about being the chosen one, the focus of his adoration, without considering the true implications of his behavior. If he's indeed a narcissist, he likely chose her not for her beauty or body but for her dependability and resourcefulness. This reveals a deeper, more chilling truth about his motivations.

Deception and Lust in Narcissistic Relationships

The narcissist often has a history of multiple partners who he desired purely for physical reasons, rather than any deeper emotional connection. This pattern of behavior can continue even in a new marriage. He might be closing his eyes and losing himself during intimacy, not out of affection, but due to the sheer physiological constraints.

Furthermore, he might still be in contact with his ex-lovers, continuing to tribute his worship of their bodies even after the relationship has ended. This act of love-bombing suggests a consistent pattern of behavior and a lack of genuine change in his personality.

The Reality of Narcissistic Behaviors in Marriage

Marriages involving narcissists can be a tumultuous and inconsistent experience. The new wife might be madly in love with the person she believes to be the one, but in reality, she is the latest in a series of commodities to the narcissist. While the new wife bakes his favorite cookies and plays golf with him in fits of adoration, the involved dynamics reveal the profound emotional manipulation at play.

Just as with the previous marriages, the pattern is likely to repeat itself. The narcissist will pretend to treat his new wife well, knowing that her ex-wife will think she is the problem. This is a typical behavior pattern observed in narcissistic individuals. They do not change; they simply adopt a semblance of behavior to serve their own ends. The true nature of their actions remains constant, regardless of the facade they present.

Is There Ever a Cure for Narcissistic Behavior?

Is it possible for the narcissist to alter his behaviors? The stark answer is no. Narcissists do not change fundamentally to fit the mold of a caring and responsible partner. However, they can adopt a facade of such behavior to maintain the facade of a loving relationship, both for the ex-wife's sake and to continue indulging in covert manipulation.

Even after the initial love-bombing stage, the narcissist will revert to his old ways. He was simply playing a role, much like in a savvy chess game, with no real intention of changing his inherent nature. The ex-wife might believe that he has transformed, but it is an illusion. The narcissist will act one way in front of one person and another in front of another, always staying true to his core self.

Conclusion

The dynamics of a narcissistic marriage are complex and often devastating. While the new wife may find herself deeply enamored and under the spell of her husband, the underlying truth is one of manipulation and deceit. Understanding these behaviors and recognizing the signs can help in navigating such relationships. However, it is crucial to pursue professional help if you find yourself in a similar situation to break free from the cycle of abuse and find true love and happiness.

Keywords: narcissist, toxic marriage, emotional abuse