Validation: Wanting It vs. Needing It

In society today, it is widely accepted to want validation but not okay to need validation, a paradox that continues to puzzle many individuals. This article explores why validation is an essential part of our human experience and why the concept of needing validation creates a distinct psychological barrier that society often deems unavoidable.

Validation as a Human Need

One of the fundamental questions that arises is whether it is acceptable to want validation or if the necessity of validation is inherently problematic. It is crucial to understand that validation, or the process of reinforcing one's beliefs or opinions, is deeply rooted in human interaction and instincts.

From a psychological perspective, validation can be seen as a manifestation of our innate need to be recognized and understood. Infants, for example, depend on their caregivers not just for physical sustenance but also for emotional validation. The absence of such validation can lead to severe psychological and emotional issues, which underscores the importance of validation in our lives.

While validation is necessary for psychological well-being, the societal notion of needing validation is often viewed with skepticism or even disdain. The term "needing validation" often carries connotations of dependence or weakness. However, this perception might be misguided. Just as infants cannot thrive without validation, adults too require validation to maintain their sense of self-worth and sanity in a complex world.

The Paradox of Validation

It is a well-recognized phenomenon that people only validate what they perceive to have value. This means that validation is not inherently a tool for oppression or control, but rather a feedback mechanism that helps individuals understand their worth and place in society.

However, the problem stems from the societal norm that values autonomy and independence highly. Independence is celebrated and encouraged, but this can sometimes create a false dichotomy where needing validation is seen as a sign of weakness. This perception can lead to a psychological barrier where individuals feel they must prove their worth through their actions and achievements rather than through the recognition of others.

Societies often encourage individuals to be self-sufficient and resilient, which is commendable. However, this can create a sense of isolation and self-doubt, where individuals constantly question their worth and validation from others. This paradoxical cycle can lead to mental health issues and a constant need to seek external validation, which can be detrimental to personal growth and well-being.

Breaking the Validation Barrier

To address this issue, it is essential to shift the narrative around validation. Validation should be seen as a natural and healthy part of human interaction, rather than a sign of dependency or weakness. People should be encouraged to accept validation wholeheartedly, recognizing that it is a fundamental part of their personal journey.

Psychological studies have shown that people who have a healthy sense of self-worth and are open to receiving validation from others tend to have better mental health and a higher quality of life. This approach does not diminish the importance of self-reliance and autonomy but rather complements it, providing a well-rounded perspective on human development.

Parents and educators can play a crucial role in fostering an environment where validation is seen as a positive and necessary tool. By teaching children and adults that validation is a natural part of growth and development, we can help create a more supportive and understanding society.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the distinction between wanting validation and needing validation is not a clear-cut issue but a nuanced aspect of human psychology. While validation is essential for psychological well-being, the need for validation should not be disregarded or stigmatized. By acknowledging the importance of validation and fostering an environment where it is accepted and encouraged, we can create a more supportive and understanding society for all.

Key takeaways:

Validation is an essential part of human interaction and necessary for psychological well-being. The need for validation should not be stigmatized or seen as a sign of weakness. Fostering an environment where validation is accepted can lead to better mental health and personal growth.

By understanding the importance of validation, we can move towards a more supportive and understanding society where individuals feel valued and recognized.