When Yelling at Your Therapist: Is It Normal or a Sign to Switch Psychologists?

Dealing with intense emotions during therapy is a common and crucial part of the healing process. It's not uncommon for clients to experience outbursts and moments of anger towards their therapists. Here’s a closer look at what these reactions mean and whether they indicate a need to change psychologists.

Is It Normal to Get Angry with Your Therapist?

Anger is a natural part of the therapeutic process. Despite the discomfort it may cause, it can be a valuable tool in understanding deeper emotional truths. When you feel angry towards your therapist, it’s possible that unresolved feelings from your past are being triggered. This phenomenon is known as transference.

Transference occurs when patients unconsciously attribute feelings and behaviors from past relationships onto their therapist. If you find yourself yelling at your therapist, it may be a sign that you are processing intense emotions and coming to terms with them. This is a normal part of therapy and indicates that you are moving towards healing.

Do You Need to Change Your Psychologist?

Before changing therapists, consider the underlying reasons behind your anger. If your therapist is willing to tolerate and work through the issue, it is usually best to continue the therapy. If your therapist uses this opportunity to guide you, it can be a positive development.

However, if your therapist’s approach feels unfair or malicious, it may be a sign of incompetence. It's important to trust your instincts. You know your own needs and boundaries. If you feel consistently uncomfortable or judgment is not handled constructively, it might be time to seek a new therapist. Remember, the therapist should be a supportive and empathetic guide, not someone who leaves you feeling worse.

Processing Your Anger with a Therapist

Instead of changing therapists, use these moments as an opportunity for growth and self-reflection. Talking about the anger and exploring its origins can help you better understand your feelings and the issues at play. This can be facilitated in sessions with your current therapist or through therapy with a new one.

It's also important to recognize that empowerment often comes with expressing emotions. If you must yell at your therapist, it could be a sign that you are finding your voice and standing up for yourself. This can be particularly empowering if you have struggled with silent frustration.

Common Misconceptions and Recommendations

There is a common misconception that yelling at a therapist is a sign to switch psychologists. It might be tempting to change therapists after such an incident, especially if you feel deeply hurt. However, it's crucial to consider whether the anger is a temporary response or a symptom of a deeper issue with the therapeutic relationship.

According to Blue Knot’s guidelines, some therapists may need additional training to handle these types of situations effectively. If you feel that your therapist is not equipped to handle your emotions, it may be worth discussing this with them or seeking a second opinion.

Ultimately, trust your instincts. If you feel that the therapy relationship is no longer supportive or productive, it may be time to find a new therapist. But don't jump to conclusions without considering all the factors and giving the relationship a fair chance.

Remember, therapy is a journey. Understand that changes in emotions and behaviors can be signs of progress, not obstacles. By addressing these challenges, you are taking a step towards healing and personal growth.