Why Does My Husband Only Want Sex When He’s Drunk or High? Unveiling the Hidden Truth

The question, 'Why does my husband only want to have sex with me when he is drunk or high?' can be perplexing and distressing for many women. It is important to approach this issue with sensitivity and a thorough understanding of the underlying factors. Here, we will explore some possible reasons behind this behavior and offer guidance on how to address it.

Understanding the Behavior

It is crucial to recognize that your husband's behavior might not be about a lack of desire for you, but rather a complex interplay of psychological and social factors. For instance, some men might have developed a sexual addiction or have unresolved emotional issues that are amplified by the effect of alcohol or drugs.

Is It Just Excuses?

While it is possible that your husband is avoiding intimacy due to a lack of attraction, it is essential to rule out excuses such as:

Physical or Emotional Fatigue: Long-term marriage can lead to routine and a lack of passion. This may cause him to turn to substances to heighten his sexual desire or alleviate emotional stress. Narcissistic Behavior: Some men might engage in this behavior as a way to subconsciously punish their wives, or to create tension in the relationship to avoid deeper issues. Honoré's Syndrome: This is a condition where an individual has heightened sexual desires and needs specific circumstances or substances to experience pleasure.

Signs of a Troubled Marriage

Often, when a man resorts to drinking or using substances to seek physical intimacy, it can indicate underlying issues such as marital dissatisfaction, infidelity, or other harmful behaviors. These signs should prompt a deeper conversation or possibly professional help.

Financial Clues

To gather evidence, start by examining your household finances. Keeping track of income and expenses, such as:

Net income on his payroll Your joint or individual financials if employed Cash disbursements for expenses like rent/mortgage, utilities, car payments, insurances, and fuel for vehicles

If you suspect irregularities, look for patterns of spending on dining, gifts, or other potentially hiding additional relationships. This information can be invaluable when addressing the issue.

Seeking Professional Help

Professional help can be a significant step in dealing with such issues. Consider:

Counseling: Couples therapy can help identify and resolve underlying issues within the relationship. Sex Therapy: If the issue is rooted in sexual dysfunction or addiction, professional sex therapists can offer specialized guidance. Legal Advice: If suspicion of infidelity is confirmed, it may be necessary to consult a lawyer to understand your rights and options.

It is crucial to maintain composure and approach the situation with a nuanced understanding of the possible reasons behind his behavior. Patience and openness are key to addressing these sensitive issues constructively.

It is important to remember that every situation is unique, and there might be a range of factors at play. Seeking help from professionals can guide you through these challenging times and help you make informed decisions about the future of your relationship.