Why We Tend to Be More Judgmental of Others Than Ourselves

Have you ever noticed how people often find fault with others or judge them more harshly than they judge themselves? There's a common belief that such behavior can make us feel better about ourselves. However, there's more to it than that.

The Roots of Judgmental Behavior

One reason people might be more judgmental towards others is a lack of self-esteem. Individuals who struggle with self-worth often attempt to boost their own status by criticizing or putting others down. This behavior can be a defense mechanism to make them feel better about themselves.

Another factor is upbringing. Children who are frequently compared to others or put down may learn to be more judgmental towards others as a coping mechanism. This fosters a sense of comparison and competition rather than fostering positive self-acceptance.

Challenging Our Own Assumptions

When we don't know someone, it's easier to make assumptions and judge them harshly. Yet, if we take the time to know ourselves better, we might judge others more leniently. Often, the judgments we make about others are based on assumptions about why they would behave a certain way. This tendency to make judgments quickly is rooted in human nature, but it's not always beneficial.

Another reason for this behavior is that it's often the path of least resistance. Most people prefer to avoid the effort of deep self-reflection. However, is it truly lighter or does it burden us with guilt and resentment?

The Importance of Personal Therapy

Reflecting on ourselves is a critical aspect of personal growth. However, many people struggle with taking responsibility for their shortcomings. It takes significant effort and time, and some may never fully embrace this process.

I believe that each person who enters this world should have their own personal therapist. This would be similar to a doctor or a teacher but with a focus on personal issues. It would be as normal as a pediatrician or an elementary school teacher, discussing problems, asking questions, and helping individuals understand themselves better.

Such therapy should be universally accessible and should be funded by the government to ensure that everyone has the opportunity to benefit from it. Even if not everyone would take advantage of it, the availability would still provide a valuable resource.

For those who are initially hesitant, therapy can teach them how to be honest and authentic. While not everyone is ready to change, those who are willing could have a significant impact on their lives and the lives of others around them.

The Impact of Accountability

Many people find it easier to blame others rather than take responsibility for their actions. This behavior can be seen in various contexts, not just in relationships with narcissists. It's a common pattern in daily life. Blaming others can be liberating in the short term but often leads to a cycle of projection and shifting blame.

However, there are those who are authentic and seek the truth. They take accountability for their actions and understand that owning up to mistakes can be challenging but ultimately more rewarding. By being authentic, individuals can alleviate the burden of making others do their work and taking credit for achievements that are not their own.

Seeking True Friends and Wisdom

In our journey towards personal growth, it's important to identify our true friends. They are the ones who will challenge us, ask tough questions, and provide honest answers. Good friends will never give you an answer just to hurt you; they do so because they want you to grow.

Start asking more questions, even if the answers aren't always what you want to hear. True wisdom comes from being open to different perspectives and being honest with yourself. This approach can lead to significant positive changes in one's life.

In my own life, I started adopting this mindset, and I am very pleased with the outcomes. If you are willing to make the effort, embracing therapy and accountability can transform your life.